Me when a customer says he is not the kind of guy...
inwalkstrouble: I walk better than you in six-inch platforms because I make more money than you in six-inch platforms.
Dancer: Who should I sit with? The guy that gives me money or the guy that I've been sitting with? He's been buying me drinks.
Me: The one who will give you the most money.
Dancer: But the other guy is really, really hot!
Me: Benjamin Franklin is hotter.
Convo between my 7year-old students today
Josie: I have a new crusshhhhh
Matt: Me too! On a boy!
Pearl: You're a boy with a crush on a boy?
Matt: Yeah he's really cute.
(pause for a bit)
Matt: Boys can like boys. I just can't marry him because boys can't marry boys.
Me: Yeah they can. You can marry whoever you want.
Josie: YEAH my tia has a wife so now I have a titi and a auntie.
Matt: Okay. Then maybe I'll marry him.
Dave: (from across the room) No you can't you're seven.
(Age was apparently the only foreseeable problem anyone of my elementary schoolers could see with gay marriage.)
POINT. YOUR. FUCKING. TOES!!
fuckyeahstrippershit: ashlynnbast: This has been a PSA (A Pole Service Announcement). girl….